“Yes, I am a sex worker and I have told this only to my daughter so that …”
What all do mothers do to raise their children? To commemorate Women's Day, we profiled some very special mothers. To look after their children, these mothers are taking to professions pursued only by men. Meet a mother who has been working as a sex worker
“I thought I should tell my daughter that I was a sex worker. One day, I summoned up all my courage to tell her about the circumstances under which I earn so that she may study,” says Nisha (name altered).
Nisha, who also works a social activist, has been working as a sex worker for many years to provide for her family. Sitting in a restaurant in Delhi, she told me about her foray into the sex trade.
“I used to be beaten up every day by my husband. My children had to look at others for small things. I tried my hand at many different types of work but could not manage to cover up all the household expenses. So, I finally resorted to doing this for a better future for my children,” said Nisha breaking a small piece of roti.
The world of flesh trade is shrouded in mystery for the common man and people have their own individual opinion about it. It is believed that once someone enters this trade, one does not ever get out of its dark shadow. Whether under lure of a job or of love or due to a deceiving husband or their own reasons, women are forced to shed their clothes behind a closed door, after which they are forever alienated from the outside world.
Now call it a mother’s choice or compulsion, but Nisha dreams of turning her daughter into an instrument of change. “She is pursuing a bachelor’s degree in social work. It is my belief that she will bring about a huge change in society,” said Nisha.
Born in Delhi, Nisha’s family married her off at the age of 17 due to poverty to a drunkard. Later, she was unable to feed her son and daughter by hauling bricks and concrete and so became a sex worker.
Nisha is now happy with her work as she has earned enough to educate both son and daughter at a good school in Delhi. The husband does not bother, but to the world, she is a domestic housewife who works only part- time. She too doesn’t want anyone to know about her work.
Then, why did she tell her daughter? She replied: “I did not want my daughter’s life to be ruined like mine did. She should know how difficult it had been to earn the money with which her school fee was paid. If she studies well and becomes a dedicated social worker, I will forget everything.”
When asked how does she manage her family with such a profession, Nisha choked with emotions and said: “I fear being exposed, being seen at all time. If someone finds out, what will people say? What will happen to my children? What will people do?”
Nisha is associated with the All India Network of Sex Workers. The organization has a membership base of more than two lakh sex workers across the country.
“Now most sex workers are forced into this profession, but they have their choice. So, their work should be recognized as a profession. Many women in our organization have been subjected to prior physical and mental exploitation. Why they are not allowed to take up prostitution as a profession when they have already suffered?” asked Kusum, a human rights activist.
The working age of a sex worker is limited. Nisha’s age is not much, but she says that her body is not as ‘saleable’ as it used to be. She is no more the first choice of her customers.
“Every man needs a beautiful and young girl. The customer also wants a new girl every time so I do not get paid well. Yes, a few of my customers are loyal and continue to come to me regularly,” said Nisha.
Nisha plays the responsibility of both mother and father for her children.
“Most of my clients are aged, retired people, but everyone desires a 16-year-old girl. Here, a girl gets paid on the basis of her age, fitness and complexion. Normally, we get anything between Rs 200 and Rs 2,000 for one engagement,” said Nisha.
How suffocating the profession is, it can be well understood by Nisha’s words.
“Once you come into this profession, it is difficult to get out. The difficulty is everywhere. It is difficult to find the first customer. If you join a group, you get only 30-40 per cent of the money you’d earn,” said Nisha adding: “Most girls who work as sex workers have told me that most customers don’t want contraception to be used. Although girls refuse, the customers prevail at times and pay extra for doing it without protection.”
Because of this, most of the people in this profession are caught up in physical problems.
“If we go to the hospital for a checkup and are found to be AIDS positive, the hospital staff treats us badly. If someone is in a job, he is removed from the job, families disown the patient,” said Nisha.
She added: “When we go through a pimp, I get Rs 1,000-2,000 if I earn Rs 5,000 have been earned in a night. They always show fear of the police. We are told, ‘if you go as per your wish, you don’t know whether you will come alive or not’ because it is wrong in the eyes of the police.”